Friday, February 29, 2008
♥ friday,29/02/08
Oh!!!!!its a really happy day for me today!!i went out with theng and hao and they have a new nickname each..hao is ''dou fu'' and theng is ''ji tui''...haha..and i'm ''dou fu zhu''......its the fist time ji tui went out with us and ji tui went to my house and we bath ler then went out together to meet dou fu after the event.we saw dou fu when we were just about to go to our meeting point then went eat our delicious lunch which is LONG JOHN SILVER'SCOMBO !!!heh...then after our sumptous lunch,we went to watch kung fu dung and its really very nice....quite funny actually...and zhou jie lun look so gong lor...heh...then after movie is about 4 something ler,we then decided to go causeway point to walk around...when we reach,we went to the neoprint shop straight away and took many pretty pictures and its the first time ji tui went to take neoprint,the funniest thing is that she don't know where is the camera..haha...too bad that i cannot post our pictures up my blog cause its very blur to use e handphone to take e puctures in the printout.....went to walk around and ''zi lian'' for a while then sent ji tui to the mrt station cause she's going to e swimming lesson which is conducted every friday at about 7pm.after sending her,dou fu and me walk around the shopping mall again and we also went to try out some clothings in e metro...we both tried one dress which made ourselves so embarass cause at first,we don't exactly know how to wear that and when we want to take it out,we were stuck and it took us quite a moment to get out of the dress,especially dou fu....haha...then we suddenly have the urge to go take neoprint again and for the second time of the day,we went in again....heh..its fun to post around during the ''photo-taking session''....haha....after that,we continued to look around and went home happily at about 7pm....its really a happy and wonderful day for me since last year....
Labels: happy happy day for me
10:10 PM
Saturday, February 23, 2008
♥ friday,22 feb 2008
I'm feeling truly awful these few days...cause of many things....not only results....but also friendship.....brokedown a few times already cause really cannot take it.......maybe i cannot devote myself into the friendship that i think can be trusted and i really failed in everything...almost everything...friends,results and family..i failed..truly failed.....failed as a human....i shouldn't have come to this world...if there's another chance for me to choose,i would let fa xin and ru yi come to this world instead of me cause ''living'' to me sounds and feels so hurtful.......i'm not saying this because i'm feeling angry or sad at this moment but,its that i really think so....although i didn't see them before but i'm willing to exchange....and this is one of my wishes.....he..told me that there's no excuse for every wrong that you have made...not even when you really have a valid reason and i truly agree to that....i wanted to learn from him but would have to try very hard.
Sometimes,i would want to suggest to the one who made human to let him/her make someone who will be born without much feelings..wouldn't it be very good without emotions?its good for those who will be sad everyday.......
My life....its filled with miserable memories and i don't actually know what i'm striving for....for now,i think i'm only striving for my mum who wants me to succeed in everything without fail and people who told me to not dissapoint them for everything..........i'm also failed in gaining trust in you.i wanted you to look at me but you did not....i know that you are dissapointed right now and i'm feeling like comforting you but i dare not.....but i shall continue to say ''sarangheiyo''.
***maybe results can truly affect a strong friendship and friendship can cause conflict among each others...we wouldn't know who will be the next one out of that small circle that surrounded us.***
Sometimes,i would want to suggest to the one who made human to let him/her make someone who will be born without much feelings..wouldn't it be very good without emotions?its good for those who will be sad everyday.......
My life....its filled with miserable memories and i don't actually know what i'm striving for....for now,i think i'm only striving for my mum who wants me to succeed in everything without fail and people who told me to not dissapoint them for everything..........i'm also failed in gaining trust in you.i wanted you to look at me but you did not....i know that you are dissapointed right now and i'm feeling like comforting you but i dare not.....but i shall continue to say ''sarangheiyo''.
***maybe results can truly affect a strong friendship and friendship can cause conflict among each others...we wouldn't know who will be the next one out of that small circle that surrounded us.***
Labels: recent feelings
12:02 AM
Saturday, February 16, 2008
♥ worried
Haiz...i'm so worried about my term test results...i didn't expect my chinese to be like this...i'm extremely afraid to tell my mum about it.i'm so afraid that she will say ''i'm so dissapointed in u!''.....she will do this and its for sure.and my poa....i managed to balance the account but..but..my net profit is wrong....grrr...i almost cannot take it....i'm also afraid that one day,i might break down.why won't she try to understand me?why is it that i'm scolded everytime for bad results?why won't she say to me ''don't be sad...just work harder for the next time''?why?she never ever encourage me,since young......i'm always so afraid to tell her my failure.......cause i don't wish to dissapoint her.i force myself to success and to let her see...to just get her to praise me.....but sometimes,even if i did my best,she would just compare my results with the others and say that ''your marks are still not good enough''....i remembered once,in secondary 2,i get the highest in chinese in my own class..and when i came back and happily wanted to show it to my sis,she told me that ''u're just lucky for once but not for the next time''.......i don't actually wants to foce myself that much but its not for me to decide whether i want it or not.there's always people around me telling me not to make them dissapointed and i really tried my best throughout the years and still trying hard now.but i didn't get the reply that i think i would get and instead,onc i succeed,i cannot fail again.i shall not say anymore.(dear friends,dun reply if u see this entry,i just want to vent my anger on it,please forgive me....)
Labels: Q_Q
1:32 PM
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
♥ time flies..
Yo!!!i'm back!!!hmmm..my last update is on nov 18 and time really flies..throughtout the months,i've really thought through a lot.....and during these times,i thought that i'vebeen more matured,matured towards facing my own problems and the way that i had to handle them.......i think that i'm not wrong to say that i'm being force into thinking that way as the surrounding really force me into it......friends,school and everything.....hmmm..don't really know why that i'm becoming so emotional these days...often,i will have a sudden thinking that i will be destined to leave all of them....
Maybe i can try to stop thinking cause everything is making me feel so tired and will collaspe anytime....hmmm...but now,i only wish that we will become friends like before....haiz.....let's not talk anything about this now...hmmm..i'm so worried about my term test results now...hoping greatly that our term test period will be over in a wink..but i know that its truly impossible.its been quite a long time since i've touch e com cause there's something wrong with it and we only manage to get e installation disc a few days ago...hmmm..also missed a lot of animes and shows during this miserable period...and now my favourite anime is until episode 60 something already....times really flies...and i truly hate this feeling:(maybe time also symbolises changes in life which i hate the most...we are now in secondary 4 and the feeling from the start of school is like we are all preparing for a marathon that will last for 2 years and we are now already on the running track.....
Hmmm..also wissh that kikoku gang will come back together again cause i really miss the days together although there's unhappy times.....hmmm..and one more thing is that my family are planning to have steamboat later on which makes me truly excited cause we only get to eat re-union dinner once a year......and tomorrow is the first day of chinese new and its a new year again......hmmm..not really happy actually.......and don't really know why....ok..maybe i should stop here....i'll update again....:)
***i'm happy just watching u ...i think that's just enough for me as i don't really have qualities to be even standing beside u....i'm tired but i promise..promise to keep watching u forever....i will be the one to protect u..i swear...***
Maybe i can try to stop thinking cause everything is making me feel so tired and will collaspe anytime....hmmm...but now,i only wish that we will become friends like before....haiz.....let's not talk anything about this now...hmmm..i'm so worried about my term test results now...hoping greatly that our term test period will be over in a wink..but i know that its truly impossible.its been quite a long time since i've touch e com cause there's something wrong with it and we only manage to get e installation disc a few days ago...hmmm..also missed a lot of animes and shows during this miserable period...and now my favourite anime is until episode 60 something already....times really flies...and i truly hate this feeling:(maybe time also symbolises changes in life which i hate the most...we are now in secondary 4 and the feeling from the start of school is like we are all preparing for a marathon that will last for 2 years and we are now already on the running track.....
Hmmm..also wissh that kikoku gang will come back together again cause i really miss the days together although there's unhappy times.....hmmm..and one more thing is that my family are planning to have steamboat later on which makes me truly excited cause we only get to eat re-union dinner once a year......and tomorrow is the first day of chinese new and its a new year again......hmmm..not really happy actually.......and don't really know why....ok..maybe i should stop here....i'll update again....:)
***i'm happy just watching u ...i think that's just enough for me as i don't really have qualities to be even standing beside u....i'm tired but i promise..promise to keep watching u forever....i will be the one to protect u..i swear...***
Labels: feelings..
5:55 PM
to be a CKK instructor asap..