Saturday, February 23, 2008
♥ friday,22 feb 2008
I'm feeling truly awful these few days...cause of many things....not only results....but also friendship.....brokedown a few times already cause really cannot take it.......maybe i cannot devote myself into the friendship that i think can be trusted and i really failed in everything...almost everything...friends,results and family..i failed..truly failed.....failed as a human....i shouldn't have come to this world...if there's another chance for me to choose,i would let fa xin and ru yi come to this world instead of me cause ''living'' to me sounds and feels so hurtful.......i'm not saying this because i'm feeling angry or sad at this moment but,its that i really think so....although i didn't see them before but i'm willing to exchange....and this is one of my wishes.....he..told me that there's no excuse for every wrong that you have made...not even when you really have a valid reason and i truly agree to that....i wanted to learn from him but would have to try very hard.
Sometimes,i would want to suggest to the one who made human to let him/her make someone who will be born without much feelings..wouldn't it be very good without emotions?its good for those who will be sad everyday.......
My life....its filled with miserable memories and i don't actually know what i'm striving for....for now,i think i'm only striving for my mum who wants me to succeed in everything without fail and people who told me to not dissapoint them for everything..........i'm also failed in gaining trust in you.i wanted you to look at me but you did not....i know that you are dissapointed right now and i'm feeling like comforting you but i dare not.....but i shall continue to say ''sarangheiyo''.
***maybe results can truly affect a strong friendship and friendship can cause conflict among each others...we wouldn't know who will be the next one out of that small circle that surrounded us.***
Sometimes,i would want to suggest to the one who made human to let him/her make someone who will be born without much feelings..wouldn't it be very good without emotions?its good for those who will be sad everyday.......
My life....its filled with miserable memories and i don't actually know what i'm striving for....for now,i think i'm only striving for my mum who wants me to succeed in everything without fail and people who told me to not dissapoint them for everything..........i'm also failed in gaining trust in you.i wanted you to look at me but you did not....i know that you are dissapointed right now and i'm feeling like comforting you but i dare not.....but i shall continue to say ''sarangheiyo''.
***maybe results can truly affect a strong friendship and friendship can cause conflict among each others...we wouldn't know who will be the next one out of that small circle that surrounded us.***
Labels: recent feelings
12:02 AM
to be a CKK instructor asap..