Tuesday, June 2, 2009
♥ 02/06/09,tuesday
It's been along long time since i've laid my hands on the computer...
things happened and solved....feelings came and faded....
we've indeed went through alot and grown up alot....
physically and mentally...
but..
i've always wish not to grow up anymore...
i mean the age...
let us all be stuck in this time machine...
staying like this..because i couldn't bear to part...nor give up
anything which i have currently...
however.....i knew it's impossible.....
chatted with a friend in BK today after school
and we talked alot...honestly speaking,i'm envious of her...
but i knew i couldn't be like her......:)
took chinese 'O' levels yesterday and do not have the least confident of
getting an A1....i'm useless....but still,i want to thank my dear teacher
for striving hard with us and worrying for us...just wanted to say that
we actually love you alot...:)...
boyfriend suffered a great loss today....shocked.....but i supposed
it's okay now...:)boyfriend,i love you!!!!:)...
e cube cube will end this friday:)endure.....work hard,everybody:D.....
things happened and solved....feelings came and faded....
we've indeed went through alot and grown up alot....
physically and mentally...
but..
i've always wish not to grow up anymore...
i mean the age...
let us all be stuck in this time machine...
staying like this..because i couldn't bear to part...nor give up
anything which i have currently...
however.....i knew it's impossible.....
chatted with a friend in BK today after school
and we talked alot...honestly speaking,i'm envious of her...
but i knew i couldn't be like her......:)
took chinese 'O' levels yesterday and do not have the least confident of
getting an A1....i'm useless....but still,i want to thank my dear teacher
for striving hard with us and worrying for us...just wanted to say that
we actually love you alot...:)...
boyfriend suffered a great loss today....shocked.....but i supposed
it's okay now...:)boyfriend,i love you!!!!:)...
e cube cube will end this friday:)endure.....work hard,everybody:D.....
Labels: random
9:34 PM
Friday, March 20, 2009
♥ 20/03/09,friday
Two more days to school re-open!!!!!
should i say that i'm excited?..people will definitely tell me that i'm crazy to have the thought...
haha...
lots of homework!!!!i don't think that i can actually complete it by sunday...
especially english assignments..
ahh...
anyway,welcome back,people from taiwan and korea:)
gu lei,ah bin,dayima,liyanna,syuhada,haziela,ain....
jia hao,xiu hui and theng!!!
welcome:)welcome:)
have not been blogging for days...
or should i say for months???
gu lei told me that everyone who went to taiwan conquered the mountain..
but...the country that i regretted not going is KOREA!!!!
i heard that they saw snow in jeju...
ahhhh!!!!!REGRETTTT!!!!!
hmmm...it's too late now..isn't it...
but...
it was also too expensive...
if i've decided to go...then..
i'll have to give about......1000+++ CASH....
hmmmm...it's over now...
guess it was very fun there...
forget it...
lots of things happened...
where shall i start from?...
hmmm....i'll just write it down briefly..
i slacked...
i slept...
i get tired easily...
it's very brief...right?..heh..
but..i've decided to go overseas at year end:)heh...
have to plan for it.....
felt guilty the moment i see that person.....
why should i?....i often ponder upon......
i did nothing wrong...did i?
fear....nervous..tense.....tired......my life is filled with all these nowadays....
hmmm....i guess i'll do as what i'm told to do.....i'll be more relax...
but my problem will never be solve....
anyway,will be going to the competition on this sunday......as spectator...
can i not go?time is really limited...homework.....
haiz....
but still,still hope for school to re-open soon....:D.....
next friday will be speech day already...
and there will be training for colours and rehearsal for prize winners next tuesday...
after which,have to rush off for english tuition.....
i'm a busy bee...haha....but also excited..really look forward to this day....:)
cannot continue to go for the sessions already......three times a week...i heard...
but..it's almost impossible.....school releases so late everyday.....it's not possible..
never mind..perhaps i should go on saturday and sunday..maybe also friday night..:)....
okay:)shall end off here:)
am i....am i thinking of you nowadays?....
i'm not supposed to......right?...
you gave me a feeling that you are irritated.......
i shall end this off as fast as possible....i promise....
should i say that i'm excited?..people will definitely tell me that i'm crazy to have the thought...
haha...
lots of homework!!!!i don't think that i can actually complete it by sunday...
especially english assignments..
ahh...
anyway,welcome back,people from taiwan and korea:)
gu lei,ah bin,dayima,liyanna,syuhada,haziela,ain....
jia hao,xiu hui and theng!!!
welcome:)welcome:)
have not been blogging for days...
or should i say for months???
gu lei told me that everyone who went to taiwan conquered the mountain..
but...the country that i regretted not going is KOREA!!!!
i heard that they saw snow in jeju...
ahhhh!!!!!REGRETTTT!!!!!
hmmm...it's too late now..isn't it...
but...
it was also too expensive...
if i've decided to go...then..
i'll have to give about......1000+++ CASH....
hmmmm...it's over now...
guess it was very fun there...
forget it...
lots of things happened...
where shall i start from?...
hmmm....i'll just write it down briefly..
i slacked...
i slept...
i get tired easily...
it's very brief...right?..heh..
but..i've decided to go overseas at year end:)heh...
have to plan for it.....
felt guilty the moment i see that person.....
why should i?....i often ponder upon......
i did nothing wrong...did i?
fear....nervous..tense.....tired......my life is filled with all these nowadays....
hmmm....i guess i'll do as what i'm told to do.....i'll be more relax...
but my problem will never be solve....
anyway,will be going to the competition on this sunday......as spectator...
can i not go?time is really limited...homework.....
haiz....
but still,still hope for school to re-open soon....:D.....
next friday will be speech day already...
and there will be training for colours and rehearsal for prize winners next tuesday...
after which,have to rush off for english tuition.....
i'm a busy bee...haha....but also excited..really look forward to this day....:)
cannot continue to go for the sessions already......three times a week...i heard...
but..it's almost impossible.....school releases so late everyday.....it's not possible..
never mind..perhaps i should go on saturday and sunday..maybe also friday night..:)....
okay:)shall end off here:)
am i....am i thinking of you nowadays?....
i'm not supposed to......right?...
you gave me a feeling that you are irritated.......
i shall end this off as fast as possible....i promise....
Labels: general
8:39 PM
Saturday, March 7, 2009
♥ 07/03/09,saturday
06/03/09:
Went to school as usual but with tons of things....reached at the same time too....
no morning assembly and went up to the class with luann...
we were informed that Mr Tan Yee Kan wanted to talk to us after lessons..
he reached our classroom at a later time..about 1pm..i think...
he said that he was delayed by two matters...
1)a boy in sec 3 had an asthma attack...
2)the school caught students smoking in school...
...
our principal was humorous.....it was then that i knew it..
we asked about his salaries...his 'O' levels results.....
issues about fertilisers,english banding..mosquitoes.....
i can say that..he was a successful person..as well as being our principal...
i'm starting to take him as an example.....i suppose...
after clarifying our doubts and concerns,he left..it was about 2pm then....
had a sudden emotion change and cried suddenly in front of them...
hid at the back door of our classroom and continued...
didn't stop until a while later.....
i'm actually glad that my friends saw me when i'm about to cry..
i'm thankful for their presence.....
i thought i couldn't take it anymore....
it's so difficult to breathe..it's much more difficult now...
feels like something really heavy is pressing me..to be specific..my heart....
a really heavy burden....
is this called stress?
going home is really hard...
forcing myself to go home everyday?..
it's weird..isn't it?....
after which,went for CCA and zh went home...
the colours training were really fun and enjoying...
i did not regret going to CCA despite being alone...
we marched around the parade square with our flag poles....
and slacked alot...
3 short trainings and 10mins water break...and we continued to slack...
after CCA,met BF and emelia at the school gate...
and we went off to the mrt station to meet yang and jonathan...
proceeded on to AMK hub....
queued for about more than half hour?
and went in for dinner at about 8.30pm..
ordered curry rice for myself....yang one set,jonathan one set and the two one big set..
and one more sushi set...
no appetite as i'm too tired to eat....
but they were funny...played 'zhong ji mi ma'...because there was a few sushi left
and nobody wanted to eat it....
it was so funny while we played...
jonathan had to eat one,emelia,two and me,one.....
yang was lucky that he did not get the number that BF typed in...
left at about 10pm....yang helped me took my things.....jonathan too:D..
such gentlemen......haha.....i'm glad that they are my classmates...
:)
i'm touch....heh..
decided to take bus service 169 home with rest..it's a straight bus for me....
emelia too....:)...
BF ended up alighting the bus with emelia...
yang and johnathan alighted at yishun mrt station...
after BF and emelia left,we had lots of fun together.....i took photos of them...
they were funny...
posing all kinds of stupid poses....
and we laughed so loud that those people in the bus turned and looked at us....
finally,they alighted and i was alone again....
reched home at 11pm.....bathed and slept.......
thank you,my friends for being with me.....thanks....
why?it's so difficult facing you.....moreover,i have to face you almost everyday..
i think that its the same for you..isn't it?......
why did it have to become like this?....i wondered.....
Labels: ichiban
8:55 PM
Saturday, February 28, 2009
♥ 29/02/09,saturday
Woke up at 7.30am today...
as i was told on friday that we will have flag barrier training today...
reach school at 9am but did not see the other flag barriers...
my first thought was...
was the training cancelled?...second was ..
are they late for training?
therefore,i waited..and i waited for about 15mins..
after which,an NPCC boy walked to me and asked me why i'm in school..
i replied him honestly and he told me that the training was cancelled..
and they cancelled it yesterday...
i was so angry..they did not even inform me about it..
wasted my time and bus fare...
irresponsible...
they should have at least inform jasena and ask her to inform me about it...
right?
went straight home after that...
on the way back,complained to girlfriend and she called...
she said that she acually intended to ask me to join her and sweetheart for
lunch...
therefore,i told her that i could actually meet her out after my bath...
left home at 10.30am after bathing...
reached northpoint at 11am...
i felt sorry to girlfriend and sweetheart....they waited for me for half an hour?
think so...
sorry...
went foodcourt to have lunch...
saw dinesh,matthew,daryl and zenson...
didn't speak much and they left shortly after..
after lunch,went to HS.....sweetheart and girlfriend said that they will join me
in few hours time...
therefore,walked there and it was so noisy with kids running around like wet market...
however,i tried my best to concentrate and succeeded in it..
i managed to complete my geography assignment...one load off my shoulder:)
whee:D...
the two joined me at about 11.40pm...
played and chatted...left there at about 4pm...
took bus 969 to causeway and sopped around....
sweetheart went to look for workbook but couldn't find it...
went to have dinner together at foodcourt...
sense of nausea struck me after eating the food..
felt like vomitting but felt better after drinking my chinese tea...
afterwhich,went to UNCLETIBITS to walk around....girlfriend brought her
childhood tibits..haha...
i,too,looked for mine but i couldn't find the burger....
it's been on the extinct list..heh...
proceeded on to comics connection...brought hearts...
there's light if you press on it...it's beautiful..
but my heartbeat...there's something wrong with it....doesn't seems to beat..
but it's strange...because when sweetheart pressed,it started beating...heh..
is this call 'fate'?....heh...
went our seperate ways afterwhich......
Many things had happened...
i'm disappointed in myself..
my emotions are out of control nowadays...
girlfriend2 said that she will help me....i felt so thankful...
thnaks for everything...your concern....the sense of secure that you gave me...
thanks!!!loves!!!...
however,the disapproving expressions from teachers let me feel that
i've done something really wrong...
things that made them felt disappointed...
i'm depress,,,,,
by everything....
and i've also done wrong..by venting my anger on my friends...
i'm sorry,everyone.....especially sweetheart and gabriel....
didn't mean it..really...please..don't take it to heart....
days past...
feelings fade...
it's the normal 'procedure'..
isn't it?
then..
am i abnormal?.......
as i was told on friday that we will have flag barrier training today...
reach school at 9am but did not see the other flag barriers...
my first thought was...
was the training cancelled?...second was ..
are they late for training?
therefore,i waited..and i waited for about 15mins..
after which,an NPCC boy walked to me and asked me why i'm in school..
i replied him honestly and he told me that the training was cancelled..
and they cancelled it yesterday...
i was so angry..they did not even inform me about it..
wasted my time and bus fare...
irresponsible...
they should have at least inform jasena and ask her to inform me about it...
right?
went straight home after that...
on the way back,complained to girlfriend and she called...
she said that she acually intended to ask me to join her and sweetheart for
lunch...
therefore,i told her that i could actually meet her out after my bath...
left home at 10.30am after bathing...
reached northpoint at 11am...
i felt sorry to girlfriend and sweetheart....they waited for me for half an hour?
think so...
sorry...
went foodcourt to have lunch...
saw dinesh,matthew,daryl and zenson...
didn't speak much and they left shortly after..
after lunch,went to HS.....sweetheart and girlfriend said that they will join me
in few hours time...
therefore,walked there and it was so noisy with kids running around like wet market...
however,i tried my best to concentrate and succeeded in it..
i managed to complete my geography assignment...one load off my shoulder:)
whee:D...
the two joined me at about 11.40pm...
played and chatted...left there at about 4pm...
took bus 969 to causeway and sopped around....
sweetheart went to look for workbook but couldn't find it...
went to have dinner together at foodcourt...
sense of nausea struck me after eating the food..
felt like vomitting but felt better after drinking my chinese tea...
afterwhich,went to UNCLETIBITS to walk around....girlfriend brought her
childhood tibits..haha...
i,too,looked for mine but i couldn't find the burger....
it's been on the extinct list..heh...
proceeded on to comics connection...brought hearts...
there's light if you press on it...it's beautiful..
but my heartbeat...there's something wrong with it....doesn't seems to beat..
but it's strange...because when sweetheart pressed,it started beating...heh..
is this call 'fate'?....heh...
went our seperate ways afterwhich......
Many things had happened...
i'm disappointed in myself..
my emotions are out of control nowadays...
girlfriend2 said that she will help me....i felt so thankful...
thnaks for everything...your concern....the sense of secure that you gave me...
thanks!!!loves!!!...
however,the disapproving expressions from teachers let me feel that
i've done something really wrong...
things that made them felt disappointed...
i'm depress,,,,,
by everything....
and i've also done wrong..by venting my anger on my friends...
i'm sorry,everyone.....especially sweetheart and gabriel....
didn't mean it..really...please..don't take it to heart....
days past...
feelings fade...
it's the normal 'procedure'..
isn't it?
then..
am i abnormal?.......
Labels: out of control
9:16 PM
Saturday, February 21, 2009
♥ 21/02/09,saturday
I'M SORRY TIAN TIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!>_<
I promised to express my apologise in my blog:)remember?....
Went to school at 9am for training today:D...
reached school but raden have not reach...
therefore,we waited..finally,he reached and we went to
meet the others...
started training and it WAs FUN!!!!!!
made friend with the girl guides...the girl's
name is justina....
also,the NCC,BB AND NPCC....they are quite nice lar:)...
and we were told that we must wear the NUMBER.1 uniform!!!!!
i am super EXCITED upon hearing that...
the same goes for jasena and raden.....
it will be our last parade....and we will be able
to wear the number 1 uniform...
i can live without regrets in life:)haas...
i'm too exaggerated....i think...
hehs...
yeah..
flag barrier again...(don't know if i spelled it correctly anot..)
heard that speech day and school opening ceremony
are on the same day....
geezzss..
was informed by ms soh that we can go on stage to
receive certificate and volchers
on speech day:)
means that i'll have to rush..
after the parade,i will have to rush to change back to school uniform again..
so excited lars:D....loves:)
many things had also happened this week:)..
today also went to walk around at northpoint and causeway with
tian tian,GF and SH:)loves:)ahhhhh!!!heh...
too enthusiastic today..the three of them called me crazy
haha.....walk around till about three something
and "dismissed"..heh...
bathed and here i am:)..
shall end off here now:)....
don't treat me too good:((...i'm really afraid to
fall in love again..
please..
be cruel to me and end my pain at this moment..
you gave me hope but i knew that it's impossible..
i've been avoiding..
but...
wherever i go,i will see you...
i......
don't....
like......
the feelings...
i feel pain seeing you..
please....:(
Labels: number 1 uniform
4:38 PM
Sunday, February 15, 2009
♥ 15/02/09,sunday
Tears roll unnoticeably down my cheeks nowadays...
Crying like a maniac for no reason...
I'm tired...
Probably tired of living...
Sometimes,i would be wondering if it's better to be the adopted one...
It would be better for me...
I guess......
It would probably be a better way to free me from
the surface of the stress i'm under now...
It's very fortunate to be able to breathe freely..........
I realised.............
Crying like a maniac for no reason...
I'm tired...
Probably tired of living...
Sometimes,i would be wondering if it's better to be the adopted one...
It would be better for me...
I guess......
It would probably be a better way to free me from
the surface of the stress i'm under now...
It's very fortunate to be able to breathe freely..........
I realised.............
Labels: TOL
11:10 AM
♥ 15/02/09,sunday
was so happy when talking or with GF and SH....
they really made my day....:D..
loves:)
saw them on 169 bus-stop on friday after cca....
was so happy...
we chatted and laughed...
after which,went home as i have an "appointment"..
haa...
stayed home on Valentine's day yesterday....
haa..
i wasn't lonely at all..lol..
the company of family already satisfied me....
....
hmmm..
nothing much to elaborate on....
SH:thanks for enlightening my day..always when i feel blue..
i really really appreciated your presence..
and..i wanted to let you know about it:)
thanks for being with me:D...
GF:i also wanted to tell you the same thing too:)
thanks..thanks..thanks.....:)..
loves..:)
i've just realised something that i was not supposed to know..
i should not have read that..
it was indeed very shocking very me...
but...the treatment would still
be the same as before....
i promised....and..
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!...
Labels: i love you
8:48 AM
to be a CKK instructor asap..